She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
