i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
