Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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