i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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