watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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