Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
