dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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