Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
