doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
