just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
