What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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