You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
