i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My feet surprised me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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