Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
