Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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