There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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