I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i barfeds in our rink
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
