the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
