would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
