Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
