11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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