Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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