I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
