Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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