Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
