they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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