Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
another moral hangover. fuck.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
