come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
