he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
