now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I skipped work to stalk him.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
