I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
