Moan for me like Helen Keller
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
