how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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