Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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