So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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