Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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