u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he puts the penis in happiness.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
