and you said cock pushups were impossible
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
