he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I got inside last night via doggy door
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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