The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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