So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just forgot I was standing up.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
