she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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