that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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