I wish I could punch you in the face.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You ate ashes out of my bong
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
