Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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