so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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