perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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