He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i came on her dog
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
