He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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