party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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