That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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